Cadence
I probably should be writing more often. Somehow my english is deteriorating such that I'm not even sure if I just spelt that word correctly.
So I enlisted on the 12th of January. It's ironic how my hygiene levels have increased after going in to tekkong. You become more conscious and start washing your face more often, brush your teeth more frequently and bathe as many times a day as possible. Anyway so camp's been nothing short of what I expected except for the training and punishment part. I guess it got dubbed the 'welfare company' for a reason. My fitness level is actually decreasing and I clocked a 2.4 timing slower than what I could manage in sec 3. So much for boys to men.
Paradox aside, the place has been rather mundane where all one ever looked forward to was breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime. Last night there was supposed to be some outing to clark quay with platoon mates and it's just the second weekend. Oh how the world forgets and abandons. To say story of our lives would sound like wallowing in self pity. I didn't go with them. Not that I didn't want to watch soccer, I was just afraid to take that first step. The step in which your take your social life in both hands and cross over to the world of army boys.
Church wasn't that bad. It felt good in fact, the failiar feel of the auditorium. God's peace you could say. Sermon and all wasn't all that I had hoped for but the visit was mainly to let me rememebr what church feels like. I know people probably don't mean any harm when they ask about army and life in camp but it just makes me feel even more detached. I really appreciated the few people who came across in more of a let's-pick-up-where-we-left-off manner. Then again you could say they probably didn't care enough to ask.
So it seems nothing anyone does will bring me over from behind the margin to where everybody else is. It's a ns state of mind you see. Everything just seems bad and worse and when you get back to camp you spend your time in there looking forward to the next weekend where you can feel it all over again. Funny isn't it?
There's no end to what I'd give to know.
So I enlisted on the 12th of January. It's ironic how my hygiene levels have increased after going in to tekkong. You become more conscious and start washing your face more often, brush your teeth more frequently and bathe as many times a day as possible. Anyway so camp's been nothing short of what I expected except for the training and punishment part. I guess it got dubbed the 'welfare company' for a reason. My fitness level is actually decreasing and I clocked a 2.4 timing slower than what I could manage in sec 3. So much for boys to men.
Paradox aside, the place has been rather mundane where all one ever looked forward to was breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime. Last night there was supposed to be some outing to clark quay with platoon mates and it's just the second weekend. Oh how the world forgets and abandons. To say story of our lives would sound like wallowing in self pity. I didn't go with them. Not that I didn't want to watch soccer, I was just afraid to take that first step. The step in which your take your social life in both hands and cross over to the world of army boys.
Church wasn't that bad. It felt good in fact, the failiar feel of the auditorium. God's peace you could say. Sermon and all wasn't all that I had hoped for but the visit was mainly to let me rememebr what church feels like. I know people probably don't mean any harm when they ask about army and life in camp but it just makes me feel even more detached. I really appreciated the few people who came across in more of a let's-pick-up-where-we-left-off manner. Then again you could say they probably didn't care enough to ask.
So it seems nothing anyone does will bring me over from behind the margin to where everybody else is. It's a ns state of mind you see. Everything just seems bad and worse and when you get back to camp you spend your time in there looking forward to the next weekend where you can feel it all over again. Funny isn't it?
There's no end to what I'd give to know.
posted by here's to all our vice at 10:36 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home