Lightness of Being
I've just re-read The unbearable lightness of being by Milan Kundrea. It kinda sucks to be agnostic.
The book's about how decisions in life are ultimately insignificant because life will not reoccur, you will re-live a decision and how we will all fade into history which will in turn disappear in the future which is near as compared to an eternity of time. So I was thinking how christianity fits into all this, giving our decisions on earth consequences in the next world. Otherwise existance would really be meaningless wouln't it.
So it's been a really slack week with fun o rama preparations and all. Skipped like two days worth of lessons this week and tomorrow will be the third. Not particularly excited about fun o rama though, haven't been involved in whatever planning. I'm just too lazy to do anything. I wonder what spurs people on. I mean is it really essential to have an excepional stall on saturday in order to enjoy the fun fair? I'm not saying they're being stupid to be so enthusiastic just that I don't see how they can be thus motivated. I'm sure school pride is not the reason, like come on get real. It's not like I'm not interested about the fun fair, I am I will be there and I think it's going to be quite fun too just that maybe i don't derive satisfaction from the collective sense of accomplishment of having a good class stall. Or maybe I just wouldn't feel the collective embarrassment of having a sucky class stall. Why isn't the predicted guilt of enjoying a stall I didn't have a hand in not haunting me? Shit I must really be fucked up huh.
Oh right valentine's day. Nothing out of the norm. Flowers and sweets erm oh my class went out of school to sell tickets. Met joycelin with cyrena and realised I didn't as much as miss joycelin even though we haven't met in like months and I'm supposed to miss her. Maybe I did just that it didn't appear as great a longing as what my mind thought was supposed to happen so relatively it seemed to me like i didn't miss her at all. Oh and interestingly, I talked to pamela on the bus home, someone I always knew of but never talked to in secondary school. After that i thought that talking to someone wom you didn't know before is particularly liberating. Especially if it's someone you're probably not ever going to cross paths with ever again. I guess it's due to the absence of the need to make a wonderful impression or change an imperfect one that you have already made.
One last thing I've learned from kundrea is that you would usually not be able to see goodness in a person, even in yourself because there is a constant power play between our emotions and the people around us. We'd never know if we're being nice to someone just because we expect something in return or want to gain a friend etc. We'd like to think we are being nice because we are good people but more often than not, that turns ou to be untrue. A man's goodness can only be seen when the other is completely at his mercy and there is an absence of powerplay.
Even Abraham Lincoln once said "Nearly all men can satnd adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." how true.
The book's about how decisions in life are ultimately insignificant because life will not reoccur, you will re-live a decision and how we will all fade into history which will in turn disappear in the future which is near as compared to an eternity of time. So I was thinking how christianity fits into all this, giving our decisions on earth consequences in the next world. Otherwise existance would really be meaningless wouln't it.
So it's been a really slack week with fun o rama preparations and all. Skipped like two days worth of lessons this week and tomorrow will be the third. Not particularly excited about fun o rama though, haven't been involved in whatever planning. I'm just too lazy to do anything. I wonder what spurs people on. I mean is it really essential to have an excepional stall on saturday in order to enjoy the fun fair? I'm not saying they're being stupid to be so enthusiastic just that I don't see how they can be thus motivated. I'm sure school pride is not the reason, like come on get real. It's not like I'm not interested about the fun fair, I am I will be there and I think it's going to be quite fun too just that maybe i don't derive satisfaction from the collective sense of accomplishment of having a good class stall. Or maybe I just wouldn't feel the collective embarrassment of having a sucky class stall. Why isn't the predicted guilt of enjoying a stall I didn't have a hand in not haunting me? Shit I must really be fucked up huh.
Oh right valentine's day. Nothing out of the norm. Flowers and sweets erm oh my class went out of school to sell tickets. Met joycelin with cyrena and realised I didn't as much as miss joycelin even though we haven't met in like months and I'm supposed to miss her. Maybe I did just that it didn't appear as great a longing as what my mind thought was supposed to happen so relatively it seemed to me like i didn't miss her at all. Oh and interestingly, I talked to pamela on the bus home, someone I always knew of but never talked to in secondary school. After that i thought that talking to someone wom you didn't know before is particularly liberating. Especially if it's someone you're probably not ever going to cross paths with ever again. I guess it's due to the absence of the need to make a wonderful impression or change an imperfect one that you have already made.
One last thing I've learned from kundrea is that you would usually not be able to see goodness in a person, even in yourself because there is a constant power play between our emotions and the people around us. We'd never know if we're being nice to someone just because we expect something in return or want to gain a friend etc. We'd like to think we are being nice because we are good people but more often than not, that turns ou to be untrue. A man's goodness can only be seen when the other is completely at his mercy and there is an absence of powerplay.
Even Abraham Lincoln once said "Nearly all men can satnd adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." how true.
posted by here's to all our vice at 6:08 AM
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