fever bath

I'm having a fever.

I think my temperature is freaking high. I nearly froze to death at church just now. Not to mention blow out so much mucus I must have lost like 5kg.

So I came home with my blood kind of frozen. I'm not kidding that's really what it felt like. I think cold unlike heat, eats you from inside instead of from outside.

I was sort of in a trace in the shower, turning the water on to insanely high temperatures. It felt so good, the water hitting me but judging from the steam I knew it was at a temperature much higher than what I usually use. The ecstacy of it was simply indescribable at the same time my body was warming up all at once from inside while I was semi-conscious of the scalding on the outside. I wonder what it would be like to die like that. Ah dark pleasure.

Then the hot water ran out. Fucking old heaters.

I think I'm gonna dream of heaven tonight or hell maybe.