flawless imperfection

I really think it is thus so. The way people are imperfect after original sin. It's become like a norm and something acceptable in the world and no one is sin free. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be perfect. Like if eve hadn't touched the fucking apple.

I have this grand plan of starting to do quiet time next year. Hope it works out well.

Christmas is coming. I don't feel a thing. Christmas has always been a fleeting thing for me, with family gatherings littered with the redundent conversational formalities and presents from people you barely talk to for most parts of the year. I say most because we celebrate chinese new year too. I wonder if it's gonna be anything different this year, with my involvement in church and all, it's really been a great year for me as far as serving is concerned. maybe i'll look forward to next christmas after this one.

I was kind of disappointed with myself today, and yes wtf this is becoming a trend maybe it's a good thing to feel guilt it means you're more sensitive and actually have more people and god to account to, and I cannot believe some of the comments I made about some people. I have to be less judgemental. Greg said that perception is a gift but how are we supposed to stop in the fine line between perception and judgement? It's so hard sometimes i'd rather just lay it all down and say fuck it i'm not doing anything about it.

School's re-opening. I'm really scared. I've never had this little confidence in my studies before and I sure as hell don't want to screw up next year.