where it's soft

There are those whom you need more than they need you, then there are those who need you more than you need them and finally there are those who make up your community and your world, the ones who make you feel like you belong somewhere and more often than not this feeling overshadows the actual relationships you have with the various individuals in the group.

Joakim. They do make a lot of noise about his staying on in Singapore Idol don't they? How people are voting for his pretty face instead of his singing ability, and how they have turned Singapore Idol into a superficial popularity contest. He got out today, real good for him. But our media is really full of bullshit. They open voting to the masses and expect it to NOT be a popularity contest. Rather presumptuous isn't it? To assume that everything knows a thing or two about singing. If it is a contest purely on vocal ability why open voting lines? Might as well let a panel of judges who are competent enough to judge one's singing ability decide the winner. I don't know anything about singing, most of the contestants sound good to me, I don't know who is better or worse and many times I think someone sings better merely because I like the song he is singing. You can't expect the masses to know and if they vote based on looks it's not their fault either. I mean even the deaf are entitled to vote right? How are they to vote then? Singapore idol is such a scam. I mean it has been, is and always will be a popularity contest when voting is open to the masses and I've got no issue if the media didn't complain about that. Now that they did, they've simply shot themselves in the foot because then voting would be for the sole purpose of reaping(ripping) profits from the viewers. I mean if it was a contest based solely on singing you can depend solely on the judges can't you?

So I went for the commando interview yesterday and it's true what they say, 'If you're to serve two years anyway might as well do it with the best'. Plus although I could be in for living hell, it would be better than to be sitting there years from now thinking about what might have been. So I said I didn't mind joining he commandos but I might not get in still.

And then there will be the ones you'd always have a soft spot for. The ones who can need you more than you need them, have you need them more than they ever would you and be your whole world all at the same time.

walking the plank

how would you do it? Inch slowly and with each step expect the next to give way, or use it as a springboard and go out with a bang, or splash rather. Prelims are making me morbid.

I screwed up again. I simply have no idea what I'm going to do when it comes to A levels. I studied quite a bit to be honest, until the papers came and I failed them one after another.

Sometimes I feel I'm not cut out for studying. Numbers and sums are not my thing. Then again it comes to you that God wouldn't make you a student if you weren't cut out for it. Honestly, I think that's bull. Most of the time people don't even get to choose whether or not they are students. I know I'm trying to reason out some form of escape, so what the heck.

I've been really detached from school life, or school people rather, since I would rather be caught dead than attribute life to the past term in school. It's mainly due to prelims and skipping of school. Not that I miss it, just a pity how I've strayed from people because of it.

It's not that I can't think of anything to write about, it's just that this should probably reflect how I'm so preoccupied with thinking about how screwed up my studies are that nothing else comes to mind. Not even the desire to do something about it. It's like I'm in a little wooden boat in the middle of a whirlpool. Just watching the ripples and following the course.

hi

I've been studying by the way