Tuesday, March 28, 2006

EOFF

somebody kill me please.

So due to my fucked up results and the teachers' lack of faith in miracles, I've decided to surrender the biggest mistake of my life. I'm dropping physics.

I'm really disappointed with my E for literature. Though it was one mark away from a D, even that wouldn't have been good enough since I was expecting a C. Ah to hell with results.

So it's times like this where your jaded mind brings you to all the less conventional career options, don't get me wrong not stardom but just alternative routes. Nat says he wants to be a sailor and sail around the whole world. I wonder what it would be like to be a writer. Doing the math I figured a 300 page novel would take around 8 months to complete assuming you write like 400 words a day. Then there's lasic surgery which gives you a shot at being a pilot. Migration to a country life has its appeals as well. Why live life along the tried and tested?

Pride kills, it really does. And more often among friends than against strangers, pride makes people stubborn and less admitting of their mistakes. If you screwed up you screwed up, you can't expect your friends to continue having absolute confidence in your decisions when the facts are laid out in black and white. Friends are not obliged to have 100% faith in each other's decisions, respect them yes but everyone is entitled to his own opinion on other people's behaviour. And then they call that judgement. Yeah there's only a fine line in there where you have to condemn the sin not the sinner.

If everyone shed a part of their pride we'd all be a lot happier. Plus it's rather pathetic to live to satisfy an insatiable ego.

To become all that you are not, surrender all that you are to Him. That was original I don't know how it struck me.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Speech-

less

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Skin-Rascal Flatts

Sarah Beth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well
Since the day that she fell
And the bruises just won't go away
So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
Flips through an old magazine
Till the nurse with the smile
Stands at the door
And says will you please come with me

Sarah Beth is scared to death
Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white
Something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you
Six chances in ten it won't come back again
With the therapy we're gonna try
It's just been approved
It's the strongest there is
I think we caught it in time
Sarah Beth closes her eyes

She dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

Sarah Beth is scared to death
As she sits holding her mom
Says it would be a mistake
For someone to take
A girl with no hair to the prom
Oh, just this morning right there on her pillow
Was the coolest of any surprise
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny
Sarah Beth closes her eyes

She dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love was holding her close
And a soft wind is blowing her hair

It's quarter to seven, that boy's at the door
And her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap
They all start to cry
Cause this morning where his hair had been
Softly she touches just skin

They go dancing, around and around
Without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared

And I thought to myself, that was so damn sweet of him. It's a great story really plus the song's nice too so there.

So the week meant for redemption of my work comes to it's end, wish me luck.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

hamster farm

yeah that's what my house seems like right now, so it appears that in the few hours between when the batch of baby hamsters were conceived and when I separated the father from her, they had a goodbye shag. And now four more babies have entered into the world and I have what nine hamsters in total and only two bins.

I've given up trying to preserve my sense of hearing and have decided to succumb to the creative warehouse clearence sale and get a Zen micro. Yeah it's old but still the best so far in my opinion. Plus it's going at like 200 for the 4GB ones so what the heck. Yeah and I was wondering who in the wrong mind actually has 2500 songs? Oh well extra space won't kill will it?

I've mugged every single day since monday, at home, in school and at the library. I must say the queenstown library is a really good place to study in. It's the only library I know of where you don't get kicked out for studying your own material. I'm getting very scared for terms now that it's like wednesday already and I haven't touched physics which is the first paper on monday. Studying outside with people isn't exactly productive but staying in a house with a bed, coputer and tv isn't exactly the least distractive place to hit the books either.

Ever had someone make things worse though the intentions were good to start with? I hate it when people think the blame is completely lifted just because their intentions were good. If you screwed up, you screwed up. I'd rather you have started with horrid and selfish intentions but end up doing the right or at least not the wrong thing. If people were to become blameless just because they had nice intentions stalin would be a saint.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Get Real

I think this is like the first time I've ever watched a full programme on channel news asia, they do have a lot of good programmes but it always happens to be screening some boring political news whenever I turn to the channel. Anyway back to the topic. So Get Real was discussing the teenage curfew and omg the parents interviewed had this awfully sickening I-am-right and matter-of-fact tone. It's really revolting having parents speak in such a condescending manner in a if-you-don't-listen-to-me-you'll-screw-up-real-bad way. And then they'll be the absolutely forgiving parents when the prodigal son returns. Sheesh give me a break, you people have such romantic fantasies one day you'll be sitting there all old and wrinkled when you finally realise it's not going to happen and you've spent more time trying to be an ideal parent in your own self-adoring eyes and the eyes of society that you've missed out on a proper relationship with your children.

On a side note, so this celebrity blogger infamous for her stand on promiscious sexual activities appeared on the show and I was really shocked by what she looked like in person. With the level of confidence reflected by her entries i had thought she would turn out to be a real sex bomb, but no it was nowhere near. Oh well but that's none of my business.

Right creative is having a sale I'm kinda into the neon light zen player. It looked pretty good in the picture.

So I have to mug my holidays away. Damnit. I hope i do come outof this with some decent grades. The literature paper on friday was alright but I really have to pass the rest. The j3s are kinda freaking me out nowadays too. The criteria for courses in local universities have really sky rocketed. I'm counting on a great deal of cambridge mercy this year.

I hate listening to divorced women go all sore about their ex-husbands and how they are all rotten and behave in the same predictible cheating way. If I were them I would be embarrassed more than anything else to even comment on the topic. If they are all so predictible and such assholes you must have been a bloody dumb fuck to have fallen head over heels in love in the first place. Furthermore complaining isn't going to help you get over it any faster. I'm alright with them cautioning other married women but there is a very very clear line between caution are useless bitter whining and wallowing in self pity. And when confronted about this they would become all over-bearing with the "yes all women are stupid". Really such people are insults to mankind, no pun intended.

Church weekend was rather fun, probably because this week's a holiday. Anyway so I met up with ephraim and I realised our friendship has changed a lot. Distance really does do something to people. We were close before and now it's constantly in a okay-we-haven't met-up-in-a-while-so-what's-new kind of stage. It's catching up everytime we meet so we aren't really getting any more involved in each other's lives. Dependence has also decreased by heaps but I guess I'm rather used to it now. Plus I've gotten to know other people in cell better like hannah.

Time to hit the books. how exciting~

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The common man

People follow two things. Fear and courage. More often than not the former. People follow fear because it's part of our primal instincts to keep ourselves safe from whatever threatens. People follow courage because they want to be part of something they know they would never have enough guts to pull off on their own. Humans are really prigs, wanting to keep safe yet at the same time wanting to achieve things which involve risks. Anyway so great leaders aren't actually just those who are extremely brave, or those who are benovelent beyond benovelent but actually those who can wield courage and make people fear them at the same time. I mean that's how you get most people to follow you. In my opinion Caesar was a great leader and hitler was quite a fuck-up.

Yeah I thought of this because I watched braveheart recently, I think Mel Gibson made a masterpiece out of this story. The one other movie I've watched more times than this was Armagaddon and I think it was only because of the good soundtrack.

Goodness I do look forward to the march holidays. I need that one week break as hell.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

vampires

I've always thought the theory of them was kinda sexy. I like that time period as well. I guess by saying this what I have in mind is bram stroker's dracula. I've always liked that semi-modern time period anyway. Actually I like the medieval ages as well. But anything beyond that is way too savage and uncivillised for my liking.

I don't like our time or whatever our future looks like becoming. There's too little detail about everything and too little attention on anything as well. There's so much to do in our lives, I'm not saying it's a bad thing but for us life equals activity. That sometimes I think it would be nice to lead a simple life with a small number of people involved in it. You'll have time to experience so much more of the people around you rather than just jam your ife up with stuff to do.

I'm particularly a fan of the athena brand of beauty and dressing. Modern fashion simply does not interest me at all.

The weekend was refreshing as usual with church. Shared values among people do make our interactions a lot easier and less stressful, I mean there's not too much to accept or question or watch out for. Sometimes though I think it is also because the church is the place where we learn about all these "proper" values that people are all nice and easy to communicate with because they want to live out these principles. Yeah I know probably all of us aren't half as good as we are in church, sucks doesn't it, but I mean having a place to experiment isn't such a bad thing, as long as you're not insistent on that being your ultimately true self I think it is more or less harmless and useful to some people.

Right new life, 4 baby hamsters. Much thanks to cleo who is gonna take a few of them from me. Anyway from birth till now which is no more than 2 weeks, it's been interesting watching those little animals grow.

I'm currently toying with the idea of going to SMU in the future. The environment is really much more appealing than NUS.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

corner of the eye

I wonder how much happens right next to us without us actually realising.

Erm so this week sucked, being sick with a 5-day mc and all. Being sick is not fun at all, in fact you feel quite fucked up.

The A level results were out this week, not that they affected me but kinda scary seeing people get shitty grades and at the rate I'm going I'm headed for those grades too. I really have to buck up but some of my teachers realy have zero patience so I don't really have anyone to go to for help.

I don't feel like writing much, this week's been uneventful, I had like tons of stuff to do on friday, some friend's birtday outing, the rage against the serene and the fever confrence 06. I felt down and out for some reason so I just went home. Life is really draining at the moment.I'm still feeling very weak not having eaten any meat for like a whole week.

I always try to talk to you. I preferred it when we were close and alone.